Forwarding Address

I’m not scared.

People always tell me I must be brave, that this is a huge scary thing I’m doing. I don’t feel very brave. I feel relieved, to be honest.

For those of you just joining me, blissfully ignorant as to my life and the various intricacies of its future, I must start by saying that I understand, that I realize the irrelevance of my decisions in comparison with the grand majority of things in this world. If you care to read it, I hope that this blog will be at least slightly interesting.

For those of you who look on in horror as I throw my future away, I apologize. You may very well be right, that I will grow to desperately regret this decision. I do not belittle your concerns. However, at this point I’m going to do it anyway. We can only hope now that I don’t muck things up too badly.

To my friends, who have heard the well-rehearsed rationale so many times that the word “India” makes you cringe, I apologize. I promise that this blog will be different, and that my ego will remain in check.

Feel free, however, to skip the next paragraph.

In short, I am taking a gap year. I am flying to New Delhi, India in about a month where I will be living on my own in a room provided for me by a Christian organization called Truthseekers International. For the next eight months, I will be working for them without pay, primarily as a writer. More details about my employment may come as I start, but at this point I really can’t be entirely sure. After I get back, in the fall of 2015, I will matriculate at Harvard. This is 100% going to happen. After many deadlines and frenzied scrambling, I am now (mostly) ready to go with an Indian visa and a letter saying I can start school a year later.

Let me first address the realists- hello. Yes, I concede that I am somewhat irresponsible, occasionally verging on a reckless disregard for my own safety. However, India is not a rosy country of sunshine and good times in my mind. I comprehend (at least partially) the difficulties that I will face: the unforgiving heat may wilt me, the unreasonably large insects may devour me, the unfamiliar germs may infect me, and the isolation may drive me mad. However, I will endure.

Despite the various dangers and discomforts, there is much beauty to be had, many new experiences to which I can look forward. Admittedly, I know little about the country as of now, but from a foreigner’s perspective I am excited for the fantastic images present in pop culture. The sacred cows wandering through the streets, the massive and gorgeous elephants, the wondrous Taj Mahal. Birthplace of yoga and chai, home of Bollywood and avid cricket fans, India is an entirely new world which I plan to enjoy as thoroughly as possible.

Certainly, taking a gap year is not a shrewd decision. Going directly to college would be both much easier and much more practical. But I have never really been one to let practicality determine my decision making: other things are much more important to me.

Primarily, (and as cliché as this may sound) I want to get some perspective.

More specifically, I would not want to take on such a challenge as college without knowing why I’m going, and what I want to get from it. For a long time I have said (somewhat brazenly) that I want to change the world. I can’t think of a better way to start than to be a part of an organization which is attempting to do just that. I want to learn how to touch people’s lives and how to fight such universal intangibles as racism and oppression. Whatever I end up studying, it will be in the context of this experience.

And what an experience it will be. Simply living in a place like India will (hopefully) teach me appreciation for the comparative luxury of the States and of the amazing home in which I grew up. I don’t think it’s any great secret that I can be a pretty cocky person. Recognizing this, I want to humble myself, primarily through the servile acts that I will perform as part of Truthseekers. One of their major focuses is footwashing. I will serve the ‘lowest’ people of New Delhi, deemed untouchable by their religion and culture, and I will place myself below them. Regardless of your religious beliefs, such an action has impact beyond the literal implications. I cannot imagine a better way to work on my pride.

I have been fortunate to meet with a lot of success in many areas of my life. Unfortunately, such (relatively) easy success has cultivated in me a predilection to quitting. More often than I care to admit, I have jumped from project to project, having a good idea and then abandoning it because I got bored. Well, plane tickets are far too expensive for that to be an issue this time. I want to learn discipline, the satisfaction of persevering through intense discomfort and numerous challenges.

All good intentions aside, I do not deny that a large part of why I am taking a gap year at all is for the adventure. College will be great, will hold its own challenges and risks, but I am incredibly excited about being in India by myself with all of the danger and all of the beauty that it has to offer. I have a desire to be different, to stick out in some way, and a gap year is the perfect way for me to do that. I am actually almost giddy when I think about the enormity of this venture. I won’t be part of a program, I have my own room, I have no parents nor teachers nor friends…complete freedom and independence in a foreign country that I know nothing about. Excellent, what could possibly go wrong?

I’ll be leaving you all, all the people I’ve ever known. It is an odd experience to be sure, especially now that I’m trying to write about it. Now, even though I understand that all of you have your own lives, your own concerns, and your own adventures, I am coming to think of you as home.

I decided to name this blog “Letters From the Earth” because that’s what it feels like. I’ve shared so many experiences with so many people, and right now I’m taking a different path, a hard one, and one that takes me far away to a place that is totally unfamiliar. Far from being frightened, I want to travel all over. I want to wander, to collect stories, to observe and learn, and write back home about what I see. The earth is vast, and to make the sort of impact that I eventually want to make, I have to get to know the people who inhabit it. Wherever I go, for as long as I can I’ll keep this up (even if just for my own sake). From the Earth, with all of its predictable differences and shocking commonalities, I’ll write.

Restlessly,

Tristen